I don’t mean a 15-minute one here, an hour there, or even a week or two of holiday, but a deep, life-pausing rest.

The type that makes you have to stop, whether through illness, family challenges, or burnout. Perhaps all three collide at the same time (holds hand up).

Life throws us all many curveballs. Some appear to surf through them atop the cress of the challenge waves with grace and ease. Others, like myself, bunker down. You may find yourself between the two, wondering where your head is.

Life has been challenging for me for many years. The last few years have felt beyond the pale. Cruel, terrifying, and well… life.

We go through these times to learn and grow. Sometimes, we have to let go of what we thought we had for the new to come knocking on the door, welcomed or not.

As a creative practitioner, a blogger, a person with dwarfism, and a parent, I can now stand in that doorway with a tentative look towards the future.

I feel changed; things feel less raw. Going to bed an hour earlier in the evening is working its wonders (along with, I suspect, the HRT). My daughter’s Type 1 Diabetes tech has given us, the family, most gratefully, uninterrupted sleep.

I’ve worked through anger, pain, grief and acceptance. I am only beginning to feel the magnitude of lived experience as myself, as a parent and as a creative.

Severe burnout is serious. I ended up in the hospital on oxygen and coming face-to-face with my mortality due to pneumonia, only to return a year later, isolated in a side room due to a stomach bug, battling another chest infection where I would finally be given a preventative inhaler along with a definite asthma diagnosis.

When you find yourself in a metaphorical burning field – estrangement knocking at the door, losing friends you thought had your back, gaining those that do, going through the symptoms of menopause, continuously advocating for SEND and neurodiversity acknowledgement in school settings, medical appointments to getting our heads around new T1D tech on a nearly annual basis… and the punches keep rolling in, and you feel so exhausted that you can’t pick up a book – I ask you, do you need a break? Or, more pertinently – do you need to rest?

There is general rest. The type discussed above is a day off here or a holiday there. Yet there are other types of breaks or rest that aren’t often spoken about:

A break from expectation – your own, that of loved ones, societal, financial, or health—can be lethal if experienced all at once.
A break from life – when things feel too much, and you feel you can no longer go on because of the pressures of life (and here I strongly advise reaching out for professional mental health support, however difficult it is to access here in the U.K. at the moment).
A break from being on the go all the time – or continuous hypervigilance – is not easy when you’re a 24/7 carer or too well aware of the negative attention when out and about.
A physical break – when you don’t have the energy to pick a book up, turn the telly on, look after yourself.

These are the times when you need deep rest, and usually, this is the time when you have the least opportunity for it.

Laundry still needs to be washed, the school run, teas need to be made, prescriptions and appointments still need to be sorted, and 3 a.m. glucose hypo alarms or tech fail need swift and urgent treatment.

Waking up every morning and wondering, ‘What the hell is today going to bring?’ can feel relentless because it is.

People will say that these are all life lessons, that life is nudging you onto the path you are meant to take (if you believe the memes).

While in retrospection, one can reflect on how this has happened – this does not bring much solace or comfort while you’re going through what feels like a living nightmare.

Doing the right thing, advocating, setting boundaries, and learning to put oneself and family first. All I can say is that becoming a parent/carer has profoundly changed my outlook on life.

Most things, other people’s behaviour, and mundane stresses are put into perspective when you become acutely aware of how fragile life is—your own, your child’s, and how much effort it takes to get to the average start line. You learn to live and adapt to the hand given to you. A new normal becomes every day.

I have found the past few years isolating; I lost my voice, and nothing, including this platform, held sway. Disillusioned from the areas and people I had invested in – quiet when adversity knocked at the door. Opportunities promised, ghosted via email. Knocked by the continued prejudice and ignorance experienced by the community and myself in the face of relentless systemic discrimination, prejudice and ignorance.

Yet, as the person who is now standing in the doorway looking towards the light, I would like to provide a chink of hope to those also holding on tightly as life throws you a curveball after curveball. There will come a moment or day when you sleep more peacefully. When you realise you can catch your breath.

Whether in your creative practice, family challenges or illness – life will begin to make sense again. You’ll tentatively step back out into the world again and be welcomed. Fresh air, sunshine and the chance to dance your cares away on the dancefloor with your community will bring renewed joy to life. Life will be okay, and if it isn’t yet or may never be again,
you’ll wake one morning, forever changed, but aware you are breathing easily. The dust settles again, and you’ll realise you are slowly moving from survival to living again.

Steph

Below are support organisations you can contact if you are struggling:

Dwarfism Charities and Support in the U.K.

• Dwarf Sports Association »
• Child growth Foundation »
• Little People UK »
• Restricted Growth Association »
• Dwarf Sports Association »

IN CRISIS in the U.K.

If you need mental health support, here are some resources in the U.K. to reach out to:

• Urgent mental health support: NHS 111 service – telephone: 111 and press option 2 – this service is available 24/7
• The Samaritans – telephone: 116 123 – this service is available 24/7
• NHS Talking Therapies – self referral to your local Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT).  Please type ‘IAPT and [your town name]‘ to find out how to contact your local area’s service.
• Make an appointment to see your GP, who can help with referral to the relevant support services.